Learning From Henri

A serene summer scene, taken by Sister Carleen Schomer

I got there early so I could sit in the front row. His books had meant so much to me, and I didn’t want to miss a word of his two lectures. There, in the sanctuary of a Lutheran church in Fridley, Minn., on an October Friday in 1980, I was in the presence of Henri Nouwen. Little did I know that he would remain my mentor 40 years later.

His first lecture was about compassion. I often recall some things he said that day. To be compassionate, I must be willing to listen to another’s pain, not rush to try to fix it. Care, he said, is more important than cure. The two ways we show our compassion are by our presence and by our absence. My presence can be a sign of God’s presence. Then when I go, you can know that God will stay. Henri said this is why Jesus’ leaving was as significant as His coming.

Henri kept us so quiet. In fact, after the coffee break between the two lectures, he had us sit in silence and then sing a simple hymn together. I didn’t know hundreds of people could be so quiet together.

The second lecture was about patience, which he called the discipline of compassion. To be patient means to experience the now. Dig where you stand, he said: the treasures of God are beneath your feet. 

In 1980, I had never heard the word oblate, but the day that I listened to Henri Nouwen was no doubt when my Benedictine journey began. He named three disciplines for one who aspires to the Spirit-filled life: worship, Scripture and solitude. Then he talked about the difference between introspection and extraspection. Introspection, in his opinion, is just a deeper look at the old self. Extraspection asks, “Who am I in Christ?” Introspection, then, should not be seen as ongoing attentiveness to God.

At that point I owned two books by Henri Nouwen—Out of Solitude and With Open Hands. Now there is a longer row on my bookshelf. They have served me well. He died 24 years ago, but his legacy and influence have flourished through the work of the Henri Nouwen Society. Seven days a week, I receive a daily meditation available by signing up on the website. Even in our present turbulent and unpredictable times, I learn from Henri through his words of hope and encouragement.

Marge Lundeen, OblSB