I have been thinking lately about times when our family had
celebratory meals together. At the end
of the meal, we were content and delightfully relaxed. We often just sat around and told/retold our
favorite stories and no one was checking their watches. The retelling always
embellished the actual story a bit and often generated a little uninvited
editing. If there were guests, they added their stories to the mix. As I remember it, that is how our friends
became extended family.
It never
occurred to me that slowing down to exchange small talk was one of the best
parts of the meal. The
stories often revealed the uniqueness of each person at table. We glimpsed their passions and discovered
what made them laugh or cry. After those exchanges, we knew better how to
delight or tread lightly when we met them again.
Recently
I heard a young man comment on how he decided to slow his thinking down
whenever he met a stranger. He began by
noticing the thoughts he was having about the stranger he noticed on the
bus.
After he identified his uneasiness, he chose to sit near the person and slowly
begin some small talk. He was shocked at how easily the stranger responded.
That choice began to set in motion a new pattern of connecting with those
around him. After about seven weeks, it
became easier and easier to let small talk be the bridge that connected him to
a wide range of unfamiliar people. The gift for him was learning interesting
and tender things about the lives of people around him.
May this
joyous Easter time open up spaces for us to slow down, sit down and savor
stories that connect us.
Mary Rachel Kuebelbeck, OSB
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