There's No Place Like Home



(Saint Scholastica Convent)
Photo by Nancy Bauer, OSB

Saint Scholastica Convent is our senior home for our sisters. Sometimes sisters go there for limited stays after surgery, illness, or injury. Others choose to live at Saint Scholastica Convent because they prefer the slower pace. They like the quality of life, and they are able to serve other sisters while living out their own retirement. Sister Janet recently moved from Saint Benedict's Monastery to Saint Scholastica Convent. This is her reflection in verse:



(Sisters Mary Pattison, Anella Mayerhofer
 and Stephen Kurpiers)

Sitting on a hill, 
this skilled retirement center 
is so monastic. 


I think I’ve seen it all.
Saint Scholastica Convent is my new home
and I love it here. 


For all God’s people, 
they pray the prayer of the church--
Liturgy of the Hours. 


Unique wheelchair spaces 
were designed with thought for all 
in sisters’ chapel.

Asked a person
what strikes her as she visits
and the novice said:
 

(Sister receiving TLC)

“… calm energy, peace 
and joy emanating from smiles, 
alive but serene.”

I’ve yet to see staff 
not seem happy to be here, 
engaging sisters.

Sisters who are able 
show thoughtfulness to each other, 
stand-in helping hands. 


Unique to these sisters: 
They transport partners’ wheelchairs--
"the buddy system."

(Sister Dalene Schindler pushed in her chair)

That loving push brings
sister’s buddy to her site 
at prayers or at lunch. 


Resident elders 
receiving care for their needs
gift us with wisdom.

Janet Thielges, OSB

"You Are My Sunshine" in Bristow, Va.

It wasn’t until I sat around the table with the elder sisters while they sang “You Are My Sunshine” that I realized I was homesick. Granted, the tears were tears of joy, but in that moment I knew that I did miss home. I missed my mom and the way that she used to sing this song to me when I was young. As I began to cry, I was quickly consoled by all the sisters; many left what they were doing to come hug me or bring me a tissue. However, I wasn’t crying because I wanted to go home or that I was sad. I was crying because I was happy. I was so over taken by joy that this place and these sisters could replicate such a fond memory of my mom. In just a short month, these sisters here, in this community, have become family to me.  

Just like any family, each individual here has their own unique personality, idiosyncrasies and habits. They have their own ways of doing things and sometimes that might just make you a little crazy! It’s like living in a college dorm again. Only this time, I am coming into someone else’s home and there is no room for compromise: habits are already formed, processes established and ways of doing something are already known.

For a while, I simply observed the sisters and how they did things. I watched as they talked to others, the habits that they have, how they wash dishes and tried to fall into place as best as I could. I didn’t exactly expect to be given a handbook on how to best fit into the monastic lifestyle, but a little more guidance might have been helpful! (Maybe someone would like to write a book about this: The Unspoken Rules of Monastic Life in Bristow, Va.!) However, the sisters have been more than kind when filling me in on how things are done. And if I think that the request is a little bit ridiculous, I have learned that the best answer is always “Yes, sister.” with a smile and nod.

Beyond the typical adjustment period and bouts of homesickness, the monastery has been great and many new things have transpired since I last posted a blog here. I’m no longer just site managing for classes at Beacon or facilitating technology in various classrooms, but I have my very own class! I’m teaching grammar to seven adult students who are learning to better their English. I couldn’t be more excited or nervous. The students are incredible and advanced in their ability to read, write and understand English. Their enthusiasm and passion to continue learning amazes me every time we have class. They ask questions and crave knowledge. I never knew teaching would be so fulfilling for me, but I leave class after session feeling accomplished and proud--proud of my students, their desire to learn and their interest in everything! I’m only on my fifth day of teaching, but I’ll keep you posted on how the classroom experience continues to go.

I have also gotten to explore the area around the monastery. A few weeks back, Mo and I went rock climbing at an indoor facility and did some exploring around Virginia. On Monday, we returned from our weekend excursion to Bethany Beach, Del., where we spent the weekend at a beach house with a few of the sisters. It was so beautiful and gave me just the piece of home that I was craving.

Blessings and love to all,

Bethany Purkapile

Relationships Matter

Many winters ago, there was a sad popular song which described our political situation at that time. The words went something like this: “It’s been a long and cold December kind of day. With our hearts and hands all busy in our private little wars, we stand and watch each other now from separate shores; we lose the way.” I want to weep when I think of the truth of that song just as applicable for this day, this month, this year! And yet, from my readings, ponderings, prayer, I keep noticing the word--”relationships”— reappearing over and over again! What has happened? Have we somehow lost the importance of relationships in our struggle to hold on to what we fight for? Might we be able to leave “our separate shores” and “find our way again,” if we kept that one word in our consciousness?

Daily we pray the Divine Office at 7 a.m., 11:30 a.m., and 7 p.m. We are the mouthpiece of the church for the world. We stand in silence preparing to chant the psalmody and listen to the Word of God. We pray the words of Abbot Marmion that give direction to our reason for coming together as a Benedictine community three times a day, day in and day out. Did you know that you are included in that preparation and actual prayer? Listen to what we say:

           

Before beginning the Divine Office,

          let me cast a glance over the whole world:

          leaders of churches and world religions,

          monastics and contemplatives, missionaries

          and those who teach and  preach

          the good News of Jesus Christ,

          leaders of nations, the sick, the dying, prisoners,

          the poor, the homeless, the lonely and discouraged,

          all who are suffering in mind or body,

          children of the world, sinners who wish to return to God

          but are weighed down by their chains,

          those who work for peace with justice

          and long to grow in God’s divine love and compassion –

          for at this moment we are the mouth of the whole church . . .

          I find Christ in everything and everywhere.

          Christ is the Alpha and Omega of all.

          I am so restless in myself and so rich in Christ.

          To God be all glory forever!

Do come to join us . . . or in whatever corner of Mother Earth you find yourself, be blessed and be a blessing  as you lift your mind and heart to God. The whole world awaits our prayer . . . and whether we recognize it or not, we no longer want to stand on our separate shores; we want to find a way back to God and that, with one another! Relationships matter!

Renée Domeier, OSB

Sometimes Hospitality means saying, "Maybe you should go."

Oblates are lay men and women, married or single, associated with the monastery who live out the Rule of Benedict in their daily life. We are delighted to begin including blogs from oblates on the monastery blogspot. This week, oblate Walter Jost shares his insights into what it means, at the deepest level, to be an oblate of St. Benedict.

If you would like to know more about the oblate way of life, visit our Web site www.sbm.osb.org or contact the Oblate Director at oblatesssbm@csbsju.edu or 320 363 7144.

“We did; you sure you’re OK with that?”

Oblate Walter Jost

My wife Ellie and I, Benedictine oblates, attended the 2006 Monastic Institute at St. John’s University; a fellow oblate, Loretta, also attended. She was one of few familiar faces. We gravitated toward one another, found we enjoyed spending time and we birthed a long-lasting friendship. 

Each of us was in an oblate group in the metropolitan area; each felt our group had gotten too large. We left those groups and formed our own.  (“That is so organic! That’s how small oblate groups are supposed to work and form and change,” our Oblate Director bubbled.) 

We spent much time together, even traveled together, and our appreciation of each other grew. Each of us knew the secret to our love was not secret … it was rooted in our spirituality, our love for God, our interior life.  A shorthand for this might be, “in our being Benedictine oblates.”

In 2011 Loretta was diagnosed with incurable cancer. She quickly had surgery and eventually began chemo. Ellie’s overnight stays started with Loretta’s chemo treatments, to help were Loretta to get sick. While I missed Ellie both overnight and in the evenings, Loretta was my friend, too; I loved her. She needed Ellie. I’m a Benedictine oblate, as concerned for her well-being as for my own. I did not begrudge Ellie the time she needed, even as the overnights sometimes became two or three in a row.

As Loretta’s cancer progressed, Ellie stayed overnight more often. She noticed Loretta’s trouble managing meds … when, what and how much. After at least one scare that was almost certainly a morphine overdose, our concern for Loretta grew more immediate. So, four days before Christmas 2014, when Ellie came home from Loretta’s, I said, “I thought we agreed you need to be there for her, to help with meds.”

“We did; you sure you’re OK with that?” (I love her for that question!!)

Without knowing precisely what I was agreeing to, I said, “Of course. She’s my friend too.”

Having stayed overnight previously, Ellie didn’t need much more stuff. She packed quickly and left. She didn’t move back until New Year’s Eve a year later.

The year was filled with heartache, of course. Ellie was gone. Loretta was dying, Loretta died. Ellie began her work as executor of Loretta’s will. It was filled with blessings as well. The deepening of their relationship. Loretta’s making sure I knew I was a part of everything. The hospice team. My learning not only how to pray the Office alone but how to enjoy that. Loretta’s friends bringing overflowing love, and food, which they lavishly shared with Ellie and me.

Our relationship was based on our rootedness in God and I could not have thrived under the circumstances without my rootedness in Benedictine spirituality. It provides a way to view and live life.

Walter Jost, OblSB

Salsa

(Novice Bridgette, Sister Lisa and Affiliate Laura
making salsa in the Formation House)

“How do you like your Salsa?" As a salsa maker, I have learned that some people like it hot and some like their salsa not so hot. One question a salsa maker has to ask is, “How many Jalapeno peppers should go in to the pot?”Any number of hot peppers will affect the whole batch. Should it be one, two or three is a necessary question to ponder. Because once the Jalapenos are added, there is no taking them back out of your salsa. Another salsa question is, “Do you like it thick and chunky so it is easier to scoop, or do you like it thin, making it easier to dip the chip?” In case you did not know, there are many ways to enjoy fresh salsa. “Do you like to eat salsa with tacos, with scrambled eggs, or simply with chips?” However you answered any of these questions is a reminder that we are all unique individuals. We are unique people who were put on this earth for a specific reason or purpose. Benedictine life at Saint Benedict’s Monastery is made up of unique women who are seeking God together day by day. If you would like more information about our community please contact Sister Lisa Rose at lrose@csbsju.edu.