Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Excitement, Commitment and Perseverance

Some of you may remember that in the months before I made my perpetual monastic profession in July 2012, I kept a blog of my experiences. I'm sure it came out at the time how excited I was, how certain of my commitment I felt, how I had persevered in seeking God to reach the point I'd reached and how I intended to keep persevering in that search.

Well, 18 months on, where am I? I'm still committed, I'm still persevering, but I'm not excited any more. It is an effort to keep going. The sense of lightness has left. I think this something many religious experience after perpetual profession and I guess it can also be in the same in a marriage. It's not that you don't want to be there, more that it's not always easy. What seemed attractive and simple at the time of making the commitment now seems like the hard road and the challenge that I said I wanted. But wanting a challenge in theory is not the same as experiencing it in practice. Also, the challenges are often different from how you envisaged. Mine are more mundane, less glamorous.

However, there is a positive side. Every day, I consciously have to decide to keep going and there is a satisfaction in keeping going now the going is tougher. I didn't make  a fair weather commitment. I stick at it. I like the fact that I do that. And underneath the dreariness, there burns that flame of hope that staying with things as they are, in all their unexcitingness, is a test which is ultimately going to yield rich rewards. I hope so!

Karen Rose, OSB


  1. Dear Karen, I hold you in my heart as I too know the all too common, all too human part of the life journey called "unexcitingness." Yes, eyes on the flame of hope; continuing to seek God in the dreariness... and God is there though somehow quieter, more subtle. It's just how this part of the path looks. Continued blessings.

  2. Dear Karen, I would like to thank You from all my hearth for Your useful words ! I am living an experience similar to Yours.

    According to the teaching of father Luigi Giussani, the founder of Communion and Liberation, I am trying to live the Benedectine spirit in the working place and in the ordinary life.

    But what happens ? It is difficult for me to find the Mystery, the Presence, in the working place. I find several difficulties to live our Christian faith in strongly business-oriented environments.

    What can I do to find the Mystery in my working place ? What can I do to be able to bring the beauty of our Christian faith even to people that seem to have just a mundane vision ?

    Thanks, Cristiano