Being a
spiritual counselor in children’s acute behavioral hospital has been
challenging and a huge learning curve. I have worked and been exposed to a
ministry of trauma but never at this acute level. My eyes have been opened
to a world of trauma and suffering that most of the population will never
experience. This ministry has challenged to me at the core of my faith and
belief system in the goodness and loving-kindness of God.
Last week I
sat down with a ten-year-old patient whom I had prayed with often and
encouraged in their faith and belief system. This patient I noticed was
acting out aggressively and defiantly last week. At our routine meeting
time, I asked the patient, “Hey, what’s going on?” The patient responded;
“Oh I changed teams from God to Satan.” I replied; “Really tell me why
you changed teams?” The patient responded, “Well, Trish, I prayed to God
for help and God didn’t answer my prayer. I have now joined the other
team.” I admit I was taken aback and wondered how to respond to this cry
of suffering. I tritely replied, “Sometimes, it takes time for God to
answer prayer.” I knew this was no consolation to the patient and an
ineffective answer, although I believe in some way or time God answers our
prayer. For this ten-year-old, dealing and coping with the pain of
traumatic abuse, waiting on God to answer prayer was not in the cards for
relief and healing.
My conversation
with this patient is not a new concept for human beings. Probably most of us,
at some point in our life, have wondered and questioned, “Why God?” and even
switched teams to unbelief or apathy. The only thing I knew to do was to
look the patient in the eye and say, “I believe that God understands your heart
and will always love you.”
I carry the seed
of hope for this patient. I pray and cry to God for the suffering of all
these children that are put in my path. My compassionate heart dreams of
adopting them all and giving them a chance, even though I know that it’s an
impossible, grandiose dream. Yet, I carry a seed of hope in my heart and
believe the scripture of Romans 5:5: "Hope does not disappoint because …", because
the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit
who was given to us. The seed of hope that was carried for me, I now carry
for others because of the gift of the Holy Spirit and the love of God into each
of our hearts. Go and make disciples …. Nurturing a seed of hope by the
power of the Holy Spirit.
Trish Dick, OSB
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